Tuesday, June 15, 2010

When To Put Me In A Home

Tim and I have this ongoing discussion about how doing certain things may mean that I have lost the ability to govern my mental faculties and, thus, it will be time to Put Me In A Home. A lot of times these things relate to fashion choices* or, you know, becoming a republican**.

The ever-expanding list of these things includes but is not limited to:
  • Floral pantsuits
  • Bolo ties
  • Changing lanes in an intersection
  • Embroidered cartoon characters on my clothing
    - Especially Tweety Bird and/or Taz
    - Super-especially Disney characters, specifically Pooh and/or Piglet
    - On denim? Openly mock me while putting me in the home
  • Stirrup pants
  • Swooping in at a gas pump someone else was very clearly waiting for patiently
  • Allowing my children wear wrestling or NASCAR-themed anything
  • Portrait tattoos
    - This one came up last night. I told Tim that if I ever want to or do get a portrait tattoo, he is to put me in a home immediately. Thinking about it for a moment, I qualified - put me in a home if I ever get a portrait tattoo except if it is a Patrick Swayze Centaur tribute tattoo, in which case: Awesome!! Tim says he won't have to put me in a home if I do that, however, because he will move out of ours. Knowing is half the battle!

* Do take note that these things are not representative of judgement upon your tastes should you do any of them on any sort of regular or irregular basis. These things, for me, however, would be giant flashing billboards pointing directly to the feared "changes in personality", so severely that any clinician would be most disturbed. Also the whole thing is a joke.

** See *.